Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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