I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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