some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
