Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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