Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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