I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm both gender and math confused
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
