Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
