Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
