the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize