Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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