on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
