ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
