Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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