sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
