we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
