I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
