Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
