I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
