I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
