Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
