Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize