I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
