Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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