And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
