so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
