Non-Jews are for practice
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
