u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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