Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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