Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
