I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this will be a night to untag.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
