im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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