Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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