and you said cock pushups were impossible
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
