How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
