So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
