I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
