..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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