i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
