Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We need to rekindle our bromance
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
