I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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