I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
