Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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