we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
