talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize