I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
