i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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