The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
