Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize