Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
