I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
