There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
