i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
