He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
