I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I FOUND THE LEGS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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