OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
