does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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