I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dick very happy bro
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
