Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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