If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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